Anxious, Stuck, and Overwhelmed? Why Your Brain Just Wants to Feel Safe
Most of us have experienced anxiety, overwhelm, and feeling stuck at one stage or another. These are very common feelings. But take a moment and think about what really happens in your mind and body when the anxiety takes over: what thoughts or feelings rush through your mind, and how it affects your daily life. We’ll talk about what happens in the brain during these times and what we can do to feel safe again.
Someone close to me had finally landed a job they had wanted for a long time. At first, it was exciting; everything was falling into place. However, soon that dream job slowly became heavier and began to wear them down. The stress started to affect both their personal and professional life. They started getting sick more often, forgetting to eat, and going weeks without leaving the house. Every time they looked at their desk, they felt a sense of dread they couldn't escape.
Joy became harder to reach. The mind was on constant lookout for another emergency. If that sounds familiar, by no means are you alone. These feelings are unfortunately way more common than we realize. However, remember that with time and support, they can get better.
To understand what’s really happening, let’s start by looking at what goes on in our brain when we’re under chronic stress.
How Stress Affects Your Brain?
Arnsten (2009), in the study “Stress Signaling Pathways That Impair Prefrontal Cortex Structure and Function,” explains that even mild or acute stress can impair the prefrontal cortex’s ability to function properly. This part of our brain supports decision-making, memory, emotional regulation, and problem-solving (Arnsten, 2009). Under chronic stress, the prefrontal cortex may undergo structural changes that impair everyday functioning, while the amygdala, the brain's stress center, remains on constant alert for threats (Arnsten, 2009).
When stress persists for too long, cortisol remains elevated, keeping your nervous system on alert. This is why normal situations can start to feel like emergencies (Arnsten, 2009). The amygdala becomes more reactive and tells your body to release stress hormones, while the prefrontal cortex slows down. This makes it harder to think clearly, make decisions, or solve problems, so even simple tasks can feel tough (Arnsten, 2009).
So, what does all this mean?
It means that with prolonged stress, our brain’s ability to function effectively can decline, while our sensitivity to future stress and fear can increase. Over time, this creates a vicious cycle: the more stressed we become, the harder it is for the brain and body to return to a calm and balanced state.
When this ongoing cycle of overwhelm and anxiety is not properly understood or addressed, it can slowly begin to take a toll on both the mind and body (Guidi et al., 2021). During chronic stress, the body may enter a state known as allostatic overload, in which the constant pressure wears down organs, tissues, and overall functioning (Guidi et al., 2021). Researchers have found that this often shows up as disturbed sleep, changes in appetite, irritability, and difficulty functioning effectively in daily life (Guidi et al., 2021).
And there you have it: your mind and body are not working against you. They are trying to protect you, signal distress, and get your attention.
Why do you feel stuck in a rut?
Prolonged stress causes a sense of helplessness (Maier & Seligman, 2016). Neuroscientists have also found that when our brain detects control, it can regulate stress responses; however, with prolonged stress, these mechanisms may not activate the same way, causing someone to feel passive, anxious, and 'stuck in a rut' (Maier & Seligman, 2016). So if you notice yourself struggling to get going or feeling helpless, know that this is a common reaction to ongoing stress. This does not mean you are lazy, broken, or failing; your brain and body are doing their best to respond to something really difficult.
You may be thinking, okay, I understand what stress is doing to my brain, why I feel like I am losing my mind, but I am still here, feeling stuck. What do I do? The good news is that practical, science-backed techniques can help you start feeling more in control. In the next section, I’ll walk you through a few simple, effective strategies to calm your mind and body when you feel overwhelmed, so you know you’re not alone and real solutions are coming up.
Regaining your sense of safety and control!
The Fired-Up Amygdala! Bottom-Up Regulation
Firstly, we need to calm the amygdala that’s fired up and causing havoc. A randomized controlled trial from Stanford Medicine showed that only five minutes a day of exhale-emphasized cyclic breathing (cyclic sighing) significantly reduces physiological arousal and improves positive affect more effectively than traditional mindfulness meditation Balban et al., 2023).
The instructions are simple:
Breathe in through your nose.
Completely fill your lungs, then take a second, deeper breath to expand them as much as possible.
Then, very slowly, exhale through your mouth until all the air is gone.
After one or two deep sighs, you may already feel calmer. To get the full effect, Spiegel recommends repeating them for about five minutes.
Exhalation activates the parasympathetic nervous system, he said, which slows down heart rate and has an overall soothing effect on the body.
Regaining Control!
Our brain loves predictability because it makes us feel safe and in control. When stressors are overwhelming, we often feel like things are falling apart and we are losing control, which creates excess anxiety. According to Tafet and Ortiz Alonso (2025), introducing small, actionable steps teaches your brain you’re still in control.
So, what if we could give ourselves that sense of control back? Even a little bit. But how?
Do small, achievable things that you like. It could be:
Having a slow morning and enjoying your coffee
Walking for 5 minutes
Sitting in the backyard for 5 minutes.
It might be as simple as watering your plants, organizing a single drawer, writing a quick note to a friend, or making your bed.
When life feels hard, do something easy that gives you a sense of control. This subjective sense of control reduces anxiety and helps build active coping strategies for anxiety and overwhelm (Tafet and Ortiz Alonso, 2025).
This allows our mind to slowly notice its own control and start regaining that ability. It won't happen overnight, but gradually you can give your brain what it needs to feel safe. Tafet and Ortiz Alonso (2025) also emphasize that this sense of controllability and associating our actions with desired outcomes help us counteract the possible consequences of helplessness and even depression.
Getting out of your head when it’s caving in
Let’s keep this simple and direct. Sometimes our minds cave in, and nothing feels like it will work. Those moments call for directing your attention outside. Here are some simple, concrete actions you can try when your mind feels stuck:
Touch different fabrics or textures with your hands to focus your attention on something outside your thoughts (Allen, 2025).
Hold something warm or cold, like a mug of tea or an ice pack, noticing how the temperature feels in your hands. This can help jolt your nervous system out of its current state (Allen, 2025).
Go for a short walk, either outside or around your home, and pay attention to the sights and sounds around you (Allen, 2025).
Take a shower and as the water runs over you, imagine the tension and stress washing off your body.
These small, single actions redirect your focus and can offer quick relief when things feel overwhelming. They also help you self-regulate and divert your attention when your mind feels catastrophic or scary.
Summary
In this article, we explore the reasons behind feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, and feeling stuck, emphasizing the effects of chronic stress on our brain and the functioning of the prefrontal cortex. It focuses on how stress impairs prefrontal cortex function and stimulates the amygdala, resulting in hypervigilance and difficulty regulating thoughts and emotions. This also leads to feelings of helplessness and being stuck in a rut, which are not signs of weakness but our body’s protective mechanism.
To break this cycle, the article offers science-based coping strategies, including cyclic breathing, techniques to regain control, and grounding techniques for overwhelming periods. With time and support, these steps help individuals restore balance and build resilience.
Author’s note: This article is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or mental health advice. If you are experiencing severe stress or mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare professional.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, experiences, or feedback on this topic! Feel free to share your views by emailing hello@arkcc.info.
